This is just one part of a very good article. I recommend reading it, and if you can stomach the defensiveness of a fauxminist dude, the entire debacle. I mean, Tom Matlack seriously thought it would be a good idea to compare feminist criticism (or as he puts it, the “wrath of feminists”) to the asshole-ish, often violent, and entitled ravings of MRA types. I’ve cast a leery eye at the GMP plenty of times before, but now I think I’m pretty much done. I deal with sexism from enough men. I’m not gonna deal with it from men who think they’re so “good”.
You believe there should be a feminist/activist tab on the Tumblr Spotlight page, which makes it easier to follow people and promotes users.
Honestly, I’d be happy if Tumblr could start by getting an editor or two for the feminism tag. Let’s start small - you know, with not having to read anti-feminist bullshit on a tag about feminism…D-:
YOU CAN BE A PRO-LIFE FEMINIST.
I just kind of feel like I need this on this blog.
Feminists are Sexist went on another tangent about how it’s sexist for feminists not to dedicate exactly half of their resources to men and the issues that they might face. So, I asked them a question asked in this article (also a good read) about this same concept: “Do you think that LGBT groups should spend half of their time and resources to fight for heterosexual people?”. They responded, and I picked it apart. I would like to offer it to folks as a means of answering these same questions should they be asked of you. Folks are often asking me for responses to certain situations, and I think this might be helpful for some of them. Anyway, it’s pretty tl;dr, so I’m gonna put it after the jump. The bolded text is what Feminists are Sexist wrote.
**Trigger warning for talk of rape and suicide**
In response to the tone argument.
“If you tread on someone’s toes, and they tell you to get off, then get off their toes. Don’t tell them to ‘ask nicely’”
File that under “Reasons why I don’t give a shit if you’re offended that I called you a victim blamer/rape apologist/misogynist while also explaining to you in great detail why you are these things”.
If being a decent person makes me a radical feminist, I’m pretty sure I’m ok with that.
So there’s this thing about some self-ID’d male feminists that bothers me
When they complain about feminists who are women who give them shit and even call them misogynists, I just have to wonder what the hell they’re in it for.
So, you were hurt that you got called a misogynist when you disagreed with a feminist, right? You think you’ve mustered up enough ally cookies to be able to trade them in and not get that title? Is that it?
It doesn’t work that way. The same way that other feminists get called out on their privileges (white, able-bodied, cis, middle or upper class, etc. etc.), dudes get called on their male privilege. And if you’re wielding it in a discussion? Someone might call you a misogynist! It might hurt your feelings, and it often does when people get reminded that they have privileges over certain people, but it is not the responsibility of other feminists - especially feminists who are women - to make sure your feelings aren’t hurt in order for you to continue in the movement. If you think feminism is right you fucking think feminism is right whether people are fucking nice to you there or not.
There have been numerous times where I have been a really assholish white person, even unintentionally, and a non-white person has pointed it out to me and even said I was being racist! Me? Racist? Never, right? I mean I’m white and I consider myself to be anti-racist! So I could never actually be racist, could I?
Yeah, it can fucking happen, because I didn’t check my white privilege. I didn’t ask them if I could trade my cookies for a get out of racism free card this time. Why? Because it doesn’t fucking work that way.
Now, you might disagree that you weren’t checking your male privilege. That’s fine. Have it out. But it’s not that feminist’s responsibility to agree with you or to not consider you a misogynist should she remain unconvinced.
Feminism is not about making sure men feel comfortable there at all times. Generally, you have the rest of the world for that.
So, you know, sometimes feminism isn’t pleasant for the folks who have certain privileges within it. That includes dudes. It is not feminism’s job to make you feel comfortable and it’s not the job of individual feminists to make you feel comfortable. It is an all the time struggle to rid yourself and the world of the isms that plague it, and having a certain amount of ally cookies in the bank won’t buy you a way out of the accountability you have to have every minute of every day - especially the minutes that you spend discussing feminist issues with other feminists.
The thing that I think is most important and most difficult within feminism is forcing yourself to deal with other people’s anger - even if you don’t agree that they should be angry. It’s probably not about you, and in fact, it’s probably something that you said or did that said marginalized person has encountered a lot and seeing it in someone that says they are a feminist or a feminist ally just pushed them over the edge. So take a listen at the very least. It might hurt your feelings, but at least entertain the notion that maybe you hurt that person’s feelings with whatever it was your said.
So, to male feminists in particular, but also feminists of any particular privilege (myself included, this is also a reminder for me), please don’t write woe is me posts about how marginalized people are being super mean to you and you just aren’t going to take it anymore. It might hurt you to be called a misogynist after you acted like a decent human being and told some other guy not to call women bitches and sluts - but keep one thing in mind. It’s the women that called you out that get called bitches, sluts, hos, cunts, etc. etc. if they called you a misogynist because of something you said - something you can argue against, something that isn’t levied against you simply because of your gender - you’re still doing pretty good comparatively.
So, I understand people having beef with feminism because feminists are marginalizing them further or not actively trying to eradicate their marginalization - like in the instance of trans* folks and non-Western feminists or even feminists with disabilities. But folks that have beef with feminism because those same marginalized people haven’t behaved themselves in their presence all the time? Yeah, no sympathy.
That awkward moment when a dude writes the same article that’s been written about feminism over and over again - but he STILL thinks he’s clever.
So, it was brought to my attention that a dude had constructed a blog post that was so clever and original, it consisted of every argument that feminists have decidedly defeated Xena motherfucking Warrior Princess Style.
TRIGGER WARNING ON THE LINK: Heterosexism, trans-hatred, misogyny, rape apology, and trivialization of domestic abuse
Careful now, this guy is filled to the brim with witty one-liners.
So anyway, when I’m alerted to stuff like this, honestly, taking it down is just plain fun. So, if you’d like to read a pretty point-by-point obliteration, I’m going to put it after the jump. Also, I can’t seem to get tumblr’s blockquote function to work, so I’m just going to italicize all of sexist douchebag’s post that I’m responding to.
I’m also putting a **trigger warning for rape apology** on the post, since I have to deal pretty heavily with some bullshit denial.