touchmybuttock asked: I was really curious about your opinion on single fathers raising their children on their own, and how sometimes they get mistreated in the court system when they're trying to get custody of their kids. What do you think? Do you think that men should be given "a harder time" when it comes to being a single parent? A lot of people dealing with these cases think that a man can't raise a kid correctly. What do you think? I'm just really curious.
My first thought is that there really isn’t gender bias in the court system, unless you think that men who didn’t do the majority of the childcare pre-divorce should still get custody of the children post-divorce.
My second thought it that maybe men wouldn’t get “mistreated” by the courts so much if they hadn’t set up a system in which women got to clean up shitty diapers because men decided they were too good for it.
The thing about custody and fatherhood, and this is something I have personal experience with, is that men want to be able to say they’re parents without actually parenting. At least on a general scale and I swear if anyone “not all men”s me on this well just fuck you in advance.
Like my own bio-dad, but example. He ended up signing away his custody and visitation rights, in fact all of his parental rights, to myself and my sisters. This is because my mom had gotten re-married and wanted my then stepfather to be able to adopt us, because my bio-dad wasn’t around and never paid child support and was generally a dickhead.
He wasn’t around for the birth of either of my older sisters, and I don’t believe he was around for mine either.
Yet to this day he still talks about how “his daughters” were taken from him. As if he was somehow mistreated by the legal system when he willingly signed away his rights to his children after never being there for them in the first part.
So yeah, when they divorced my mom got custody. My dad didn’t do shit as far as parenting, and according to statistics men in general don’t do the majority of caretaking/parenting.
So essentially the argument, in my opinion, about this supposed mistreatment of men by the courts when it comes to custody is that men want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be parents without doing any parenting, and when the courts won’t let them do that, they get upset.
I mean, I’m sure someone has a story about how their dad was a single dad and the best dad ever and he was mistreated by the courts, but again I’ll say - men created and benefited from a system in which women were designated the caretakers of children, were not allowed to work outside of the home because they had to have and tend to children, etc.
And now they want to get upset because women are still considered those caregivers (mostly because they are, in fact, still doing most of the caregiving).
Sounds like a case of male tears. If men have a problem with the court system or our current paradigm when it comes to parenting, I guess they’ll have to change it. But blaming women or feminism for it ain’t the way to go about it, and it’s certainly not a battle I’m going to drop everything to fight.
AYEEEEE LOOK AT THE HOMIE THO!!!!!
sex negative for life.
I left liberal feminism, because it told me that I was only powerful if my power satisfied men’s needs
not to mention the call for more female CEOs without any criticism of the capitalist oppression that all CEOs perpetuate, and the women who are thrown underfoot for women to rise to the top of the corporate ladder
not to mention “it’s the CHOICE that’s important”
not to mention “feminism is the radical notion that women are people”
not to mention the white savior mentality and anyone who tells hijabis that they are anti-feminist