I’m so angry that the sex-pos movement is encouraging women - who already experience internalised misogyny and learned submission - to celebrate sexualised inequality and to embrace their internalisation of female sexual masochism as “empowerment.” It’s so manipulative and scary and disgusting. And men are fucking loving it.
"Feminists fuck better." Please stop. Men still hate you. "Watch me smash patriarchy while reverse cow-girlin’ you." He still thinks you’re a bitch. "I only fuck feminists." Thanks for letting me know nothing’s really changed. "Feminists can be sexy and cute!" I don’t care for mollifying feminism; you’re only trying to make it palpable for men. "Some porn stars are empowered by porn!" Individual empowerment doesn’t speak for macro-social repercussions of the very same industry; the majority of actresses in pornography go through shootings with the help of alcohol and drugs in order to numb the physical and mental abuse they suffer. Much of your individualistic understanding of empowerment and agency is very much complicit with patriarchal violence. So.
Sometimes I rant about things.
So I’m procrastinating by reading an article some dude wrote about attending a porn lecture by Robert Jensen on The Good Men Project (NEVER ENOUGH SIDE-EYE FOR THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE). After complaining about the lecturer’s personal anecdote of men walking out of his lectures when he declares he won’t actually be showing any pornography while the women in the audience seem relieved, the author actually says “After a brief disclaimer about why a man is talking about feminism, explaining that he’s using a feminist critique rather than a religious critique (an especially useful distinction to make at a Catholic university), and situating himself in the lineage of Dworkin and Dines, Jensen further built cohesion among the women at the cost of the men’s safety.”
The men’s safety.
The men’s safety.
What the fucking fuck is it with men? Why do words hurt them so much? Women, who are subjected to acts of violence and hatred within pornography on the regular aren’t going to be forced to look at images of those acts and that somehow make men less safe?
What is going to happen to them?
Is someone going to harm them? Jiz on their face? Disembody them? Shove a dick in their ass? Rape them? Objectify them? Punch them? Slap them? Spit on them? Hit them with their genitals? Call them a bitch, a slut, a whore, a cunt? Call them any gender-based epithet?
Oh wait. Don’t worry. The fear is described later. The lecturer asked men to stand up and explain what the last pornography that they masturbated to was like. When there were no volunteers, the lecturer stated that was the point. The author of the article took issue with that. Here’s why:
“As an educator, I can see how an exercise like this might be really useful, if enough safety has been built into a class. But this was a lecture, without any ground rules, expectations of confidentiality, or anything else that skilled teachers often do when exploring challenging topics. There also wasn’t any information given to the women about how to respond—were they going to tut tut us? Shame us? Laugh at us?”
There’s a Margaret Atwood quote for this. It has to do with men’s greatest fear being that women will laugh at them while women’s greatest fear is men committing physical violence against us.
Sound familiar, douchecanoe article author?
I would really hate it if women laughed at or shamed men for watching and wanking off to what often amounts to sexualized misogyny.
Men have a right to feel safe and secure in their pornography use, tho, right? It’s part of the code of society that men get to use women and images of them in any way they see fit, so why would you make that an unsafe space for men? Mean old feminism, taking away all of men’s entitlements and shit.
Also, apparently pointing out that men masturbate to porn is “demonizing” them.
Oh. my. god.
Really. What is this. Why is this one a website called “The Good Men Project” there is nothing good about this. This is why women don’t want dudes calling themselves feminists. Because they call themselves feminists and then they think they have carte blanche to start policing the movement and the women, lecturers, and ideas within it and feminism is not a men’s movement even if it benefits them in the end.
They start claiming women’s space as space that they need to feel safe in. Sorry dude, but you have the rest of society for that. You have your pornography for that.
Come into one of the plastic pussies they sell in porn shops if you need to feel safe. Don’t fucking come into my feminism.
Note: No, I sure didn’t read the rest of the article. I just fucking couldn’t. I just had to write out this rant and post it on here, especially since I’ve been getting so many asshole anons in my askbox asking about why women don’t want men to be included in feminism or to call themselves feminists. Here’s your fucking answer.