The Ron Paul Powerthirst Commercial
“HEY! Do you want to feel SO LIBERATED? Try RON PAUL! A politician for people who need GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF GOVERNMENT SPENDING CUTS! All new ideas like CUTTING MULTIPLE FEDERAL DEPARTMENTS. It’s like adding a SELF RIGHTEOUS ASSHOLE to an OVAL OFFICE! Sound the alarm, you’re gonna be UNCOMFORTABLY LIBERATED! What’s that? You want access to a free education? Well how about…CUTTING THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION! Reading! You won’t be good at it! He’s a politican for men! NORMAL POLITICIAAAAAN! BIG GOVERNMENT! LIBERATION! BIG GOVERNMENT! LIBERATION! Liberation of white dudes, liberation of rich dudes, more liberation than YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOOOOOR. You’ll be so liberated some people who need medical care will be like SLOOOOW DOOOOWN. And you’ll be like “Fuck you!” and kick them in the face with THE FREE MARKET! You’ll have so much liberation, it’ll be like rich white dudes always ran the government and catered to other rich white dudes. LIBERATED WALKING, LIBERATED EATING, LIBERATED SLEEPING, LIBERATED BREATHING, LIBERATED SPAWNING BABIES. YOU’LL FORCE PEOPLE WITH UTERUSES TO HAVE SOOO MANY BABIES. 1.21 MILLION BABIIIIIES.You care so much about free market competition you’ll push your babies to run as fast as cultural stereotypes about KENYANS! Then they’ll run as fast as KENYANS. But they won’t have to worry about being mistaken for an ACTUAL brown person and being deported back to MEXICOOOO…I mean KENYAAAA. Go with the sure thing! Don’t gamble on maintaining your cultural dominance! Try RON PAULthe politician that will make you…LIBERATED!”
Now I’m kind of motivated to write a Ron Paul commercial in the style of powerthirst.
It’ll include things like “MORE LIBERTY THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOOOOR” and “You’ll be so liberated the Department of Education will be like ‘sloooooooow dooooooown’…and you’ll be like ‘fuck you!’ and cut all their budget with your LIBERTY PEN.”
Oh gosh. I am having too much fun with this. Ron Paul, you so silly.
Ron Paul on The Diane Rehm Show, talking about the need for civility in society and demonstrating an alarming lack of empathy.
Enough with the tired and sexist stereotypes of women who find themselves in need of an abortion.
Oh no Ron Paul, it’s much more “civilized” to force women (and all uterus-bearers) to carry any and every pregnancy, even those resulting from rape or sexual abuse. It’s so much more “civilized” to strip women (and all uterus bearers) of the right to their own bodies, the right to make their own medical decisions. “Civilization” is totally defined by white dudes without uteri making decisions about the lives, choices, and bodies of everyone with uteri. You’re right, Ron Paul, you get to define civilization, and if you define it as a society that promotes forced gestation, that supports and condones using the same government force that your son complains about when he can’t shit in the toilet he wants to shit in to force women to maintain another person’s body by using their own organs, their own blood, and their own their own existence then by golly I guess we have to listen.
Or we could not. Shut the fuck up you misogynistic shitstain. If you really believe that stereotyping and generalizing what is a vast array of experience by a group of people that you obviously have no semblance of knowledge of is the proper way to define “civilization”, you are living in a world of absurdity (and massive privilege), and you are not worth listening to.
Ron Paul is the biggest fucking hypocrite. I just can’t even with that douchenozzle.